Like really?

“There’s no denying that I think you’re a really interesting woman.”

REALLY!??? ME?! 

Again,

REALLY!?

INTERESTING?????????? I’m sorry, but I can’t help but scoff at that. I am anything but.

More like crazy, whacked out. If you really knew me.

And it has totally thrown me off is what’s beside that word was…well, woman. It’s so weird, I don’t know why I found that so outright bizarre. Person would’ve been the best word to have use in my preference.

Tuesday, May 29, 2012 - I found out.

Wednesday, May 30, 2012 - I freaked out. 

Thursday, May 31, 2012 - I’m tired out.

I got two compliments yesterday. Both compliments were on the opposite side of each other on the spectrum. 

Compliment #1: “You are amazing.”

Compliment #2: “(finger quote) Unique. (finger quote)”

Guess which one was the one I most preferred? 

#2! Oddly enough, I didn’t take offense to it at all. If anything, I know I’m weird and bizarre majority of times, but the second compliment I really like.

LOL! I guess because growing up, I always thought every person was unique—that is if they didn’t try to conform and stay true to who they were with what they felt in their gut and in their heart was right for them and not compared to the standards and pressures of others and society.

And the fact that I’m unique with a ‘twist’—ha! says something.

On the other hand, the first compliment, I TOTALLY freak’d out. Then again, it was said from a guy who had feelings for me. I don’t mean to be rude, because it does come across that way, but when someone who has feelings for me, says something like that…it’s just creeps me out, even when the guys are TOTALLY sweet and endearing and pretty much a gosh darn cool guy, and most of the times, they absolutely are.

I don’t know, I guess it’s just a natural reaction, but it’s too much. It’s too direct. It’s too fast. And I’m not ready, and I don’t even know the person all too well, or long enough. Or maybe it’s the chemistry between the interaction. It can be fun and joking, but who doesn’t want it to be that way? But it doesn’t necessarily always mean that it’s more than that.

Anyway, I freaked out. And today, we pretended like nothing happen. Like it was all good. I do feel guilty for the way I reacted though, because I know if I were on the other side, I wouldn’t want the other person to react in that matter. 

I think you’re cute and I’m trying my best to play it cool, and I’m pretty darn sure it may look as though I’m coming off as aloof or a cold witch, but that’s not the case at all.

I just really like you.

because when you care too much, you pay too much to every little detail. When something matters to you, you take it to heart and find gaps causing to arise more problems than necessary to fill it in.

and did not want to get out of bed at all. I just wanted to fall back asleep, and rather than pressing the snooze button for the third time, turn off the alarm clock altogether. 

But then the thought of you crept into my mind and all I could think was you’d be the reason I’d be able to get up in the morning and why it would be so easy, rather than a struggle to get up on those drained mornings. You’d be the strength I’d take on the day forward and all the days after that.

Is it love when you’re bounded to that one person? When you can feel every ounce and fiber in you?

I remembered looking up to you. I remembered being inspired, uplifted, consoled by you. 

You were my best friend. I wish you knew.

And too much sleep also makes me emotional.

WHAT!

Maybe it’s that time, although a bit weird considering it hasn’t ever made me emotional at all…not on my radar anyway.

What am I saying.

It’s Sunday ALREADY. 

Or maybe I misheard you when I walked in the report room. 

And maybe I misheard you when a staff member called me nurse and you told her I wasn’t a nurse, but something about me being better when it came to care than most when we were in the dining room and I was wheeling a resident out.

‘Batman’… lol.

When I heard someone said my name while walking towards the unit, I turned around and it was her. She said my name! Instead of the usual ‘Sunshine’…!

-

How on earth…that on the ONE day that the dietitian (who is awesome by the way) comes and offers me a slice of watermelon in the morning and the CEO happens to be there and caught me eating it? And reported to the boss that I was eating ‘breakfast’? Ugh!! Good thing the boss was understanding and told me that she’ll show me who the CEO is…because I have no clue who the CEO looks like at all!

-

On the other side of the note, I can’t even believe I survived today as I am the only one at work!

I can’t believe I went through the last minute plan that was concocted from sleep deprivation and exhaustion (due to work). But I am so, so happy that the one person I wanted to come visit came! Love herrrrr! I’m laughing just thinking how ridiculous it was to get things set up for my lovely co-worker’s birthday. Preparing the gift in the washroom. Waiting for the arrival of that awesome gal. Asking a staff member from the recreation department to help me get helium balloons! She is so kick-ass apart from the rest. Yes, that’s right. I said it. I owe people! LOL!

Love the people who helped me out…

Much love!

Now, a three day weekend. Going to pass out cold. Eat lots. And planning to visit my dear, dear awesome gal who came to visit today at work… WOOOOO!!

when she came home from Vancouver.

She said she could imagine me being a mom.

I use to imagine people with children. I never would have thought  someone—anyone, let alone one of my childhood friends would imagine me with a child and that really struck me. It’s so weird, bizarre, and absurd, and just…altogether incomprehensible.

I am so lame when I say this.

But I have a crush on someone at work. Teehee.

Yes, lame, but it’s so nice to be giggling like a tacky teenage school girl and moving on after all these years.

It’s a silly, silly crush, but it feels wonderful. And so is flirting—haha!! but he’s flirting, too, even though I’m pretty sure he’s doing it just for fun, nothing serious.

Damn…gets me pissed off. I do my job and I don’t get paid properly. I’m missing 4 hours off of my pay. What the hell? 

• Feeling super organized and stupendous for sorting the laundry list today
• Finding out two staff members are mother and son 
• Meeting people and getting to know their names at work (even after 4 months of being there) “I’mma call you Bob…I don’t even know your name.” “It’s Tina.” “Oh, okay, you can call me Bob then.”
• Answering the reception phone and learning the switchboard system…and just telling the receptionist that I’ll just play around with it. LOL.
• Love working alongside with the different departments of the facility…administrative, IT guys, kitchen, laundry/housekeeping/maintenance, finance, not just the nursing and care aides staff
• Knowing my lovely co-worker is coming back on Monday… and her birthday is coming soon
• Plan to call in this weekend to work and talk about work stuff with staff…haha. Go to Wal-Mart to stock up and get some Jolly Ranchers for the receptionist
• Doing meal vouchers at reception and surprising (slightly) the receptionist when I’ve told her I’ve done it before
• Being in the “dungeon” at work LOL best place evaaaaaa